


Attack of the Veggie Men from Outer Space

by Swishy-fiend



Category: Zoids
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-01-05
Updated: 2003-08-11
Packaged: 2013-05-10 18:48:21
Rating: K
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,254
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1163371/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/308162/Swishy-fiend
Summary: What happened when the Blitz Team didn't eat their veggies. Best read after alot of chocolate/sugar. Or someone who appreciates insanity. But, anyone can read it! New Century.*CHAPTER 2 & 3 HERE*





	1. The Storm Begun

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Swishy Fantasies presents:  
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Attack Of the Man-Eating, Cannibalistic Veggie Men From the Refrigerator  
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Disclaimer: I do not own Zoids, Veggie men, or disclaimers. And I am not responsible for the twisted ideas that come out of my head.  
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p"Leena, eat your vegetables. They're good for you." said Doc Tauros.  
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"Dad," complained Leena "I'm not a little kid, I don't have to eat them."  
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*BOOM*  
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The storm was raging strong outside. Lighting crackled across the sky like fried spaghetti (no clue where that metaphor came from). The flash of lightning light up the room for a brief moment, then died away.  
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"Bit, Leena" urged Doc "Go on and finished your vegetables."  
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"Cut it out, Dad!" yelled Leena "I already told you, I'm not a little kid."  
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"Besides," added Bit, annoyed "you never get on Brad's case about him not eating vegetables."  
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"Good point." said Doc thoughtfully, "And.."  
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Brad looked up from eating, then handed Doc a handful of coins. "Does that work?" said Brad "I've   
already given you more than you deserve."  
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"Dad.." growled Leena "Why can Brad pay you so he doesn't have to eat vegetables, yet you still go after me about it?"  
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"He pays me good." defended Doc, counting his money.  
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"And why does he pay you with the same amount? It looks to me like he's just giving you back the same money, over and over." asked Jamie.  
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Before anyone could answer, the telephone rang. Doc answered the phone. "Hello? Tauros Residents, Doctor Tauros speaking."  
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Leena shot a glare at Brad from the other side of the table. She fumed there, stewing over things when a light bulb came on in her head. "I know how to dispose of my vegetables!" said Leena with a sinister glint in her eye.   
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She knocked Bit's napkin to the floor. As Bit leaned to pick it up, Leena dumped all her vegetables on to Bit's plate. "Huh?" said Bit, coming up from under the table. "Hmm. How in the world did I end up with more vegetables then I started?" wondered Bit. "Oh well." He dumped all his vegetables into the dish.   
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"Hey!" complained Jamie as Brad proceeded to dump his veggies in the trash. "That's wasting food!   
What makes you think that you don't have to eat them?"   
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"You're right," said Bit "Here, I'll put yours back in too."   
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"No, wait!" protested Jamie, but it was too late. Bit had already spooned all the mixed vegetables, the broccoli, and the butternut squash back in to their containers and into the refrigerator. Jamie sat there, thinking of the great squash and the delicious lima beans he was missing.   
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Doc hung up the phone and returned to the table. "Who was that?" asked Leena, with a look of pure innocence on her face.   
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"Oh, it was nobody." said Doc, sporting the same air as Leena as he sat back down at the table. "Just a telemarketer, selling something."  
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Brad eyed Doc suspiciously. He'd have to keep a close eye on the mail for any big packages.  
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"Where did all the vegetables go?" said Doc, startled at the lack of the pots and pans on the table.  
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Before Jamie could tell Doc what happened to the lost dinner items, he felt a sharp kick delivered to his knee. He let out a yelp, then looked over the table to see Leena smiling with pseudo-innocence. "We ate them all." said Leena, sweetly.   
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"Yeah," said Brad with the same false innocence. "We thought it over and decide to go ahead and eat all of them, right Jamie?" Here he gave Jamie another kick.   
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"OW!" said Jamie "Er, right. But, Doc..."  
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"And we decided to wash the dishes for you." interjected Bit "they're already in the dishwasher."  
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"Then, why isn't the dishwasher running?" asked Doc.  
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"Oh, you're right; silly me." said Bit, quickly turning on the dishwasher.   
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"Well, you might as well not turn it on." said Doc "The weatherman says we're in for a real storm, one unlike any we've had for decades. We better just go to bed, as we don't want to cause any power outages." Everyone agreed that sleep was the next best plan of action. Bit turned off the lights as he to the hanger.  
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"*Yawn* Good night, everybody." he said as he flopped on his cot. "Good night, Lyger."  
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The storm began its night's work. Whipping up sand and beating against the building, it began its destruction of any object unfortunate to be outside. It lashed cruelly against Tauros Farm, flaring up in an angry rage at not being able to penetrate the house.  
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But the storm had other means of getting inside Tauros Farm. Lightning struck the ground violently as the storm send a shockwave up the power line. Inside the house, the refrigerator blew out; sparks of electricity sputtering around it. No one woke up to see the refrigerator in its dying hour. With it's last, dying breath; it sent it's very life force into its contents. The feared organic dishes of last night's dinner.  
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A horrifying screech filled the night air.   
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They were back. The discarded veggies.......were back.  
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Review.....or THE VEGGIE MEN WILL GET YOU!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
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Voice: You could have just said "Please review."  
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Errr....right. 


	2. They're Alive!

Swishy Fantasies presents:  
  
  
  
Attack Of the Man-Eating, Cannibalistic Veggie Men from the Refrigerator  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for whatever crazy things my computer does to my formatting. And, as show previously, I do not own Zoids.  
  
  
  
Warning: This chapter shows tomato juice. Vegetables may not want to allow their sprouts to read this chapter. Thank you.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: They're Alive!  
  
"Ah! Goood morning, Lyger" said Bit cheerfully while stretching. The Lyger 00 roared back by the way of greeting. "Yeah, that was quite a storm we had last night." The Lyger growled in agreement, then roared. "What? You heard the refrigerator blew out?!?" said Bit, frowning. "Oh great. Now were going to have to get a new refrigerator." He paused for a moment, thinking.  
  
"You know, that food's gonna spoil with no refrigeration." said Bit, thoughtfully "And it would be a waste to let all that food spoil." The Lyger growled. Yes, he was right. The food would probably spoil. "And there's only two ways to stop food from spoiling." continued Bit. "One would be to put it in a refrigerator, which broke, so we have none. The second way would be," said Bit, beginning to exit the hanger, "would be to eat...er...dispose of the food in the proper containers. I will, therefore, stop the spread of food spoilage, and..."  
  
Bit was greeted by wreckage and chaos when he stepped into the living room. The sofa had been upturned and shredded, little pieces of white leather all over the floor. Pots and pans and china had being hurled all over the place, accounting for a large amount of the rubble. Pictures were askew. Cups had been smashed. Pillows had been ripped. The signs of vandalism were everywhere.  
  
"What the..!" said Bit, surveying the wreckage. Then he noticed it. All over everything. Something red.  
  
Warm. Oozing over everything. It was...it was.....  
  
"Tomato juice?" wondered Bit, scratching his head. But why was there tomato juice all over....?  
  
  
  
*Thump. *  
  
Bit jerked to attention. What was that?  
  
*Thump! Thump! Thump! *  
  
That thumping noise. It was coming closer.  
  
*THUMP! THUMP! *  
  
Groans, snarls, and frightening noises echoed eerily in the hall. They were coming closer.  
  
*THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! *  
  
Bit swallowed. He picked up an overturned chair. "All right," yelled Bit, feeling like over-cooked broccoli all over "come out! Whoever you are! But I'm warning, I know..."  
  
*BOOM! *  
  
The door was knocked down. An army of over-cooked veggies swarmed into the room. Atrocious artichokes and savage squash, feral fennel and bloodthirsty broccoli, carnivorous cabbage and rabid rutabagas-everywhere! Bit couldn't decide whether to scream, laugh, or looked puzzled. Until a vicious-looking carrot chomped the chair he was holding in two. Then, Bit made up his mind in three seconds.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" yelled Bit, dashing through the hall. The rabid produce took up the chase. Bit ran to the hanger... but no! The veggies had beaten him to it. He made an abrupt turn, then dashed toward the front door. DING-DONG! Someone was at the door! Bit didn't care. He opened the door and-  
  
WHAM!!  
  
--saw a lot of stars, swirls, and checkerboards.  
  
Harry Champ, the person at the door, rubbed his head. "Watch where you're going!" complained Harry. "You nearly ruined the flowers I got for Leena!!!" He motioned to a bouquet of red, pink, and white roses.  
  
"Shut the door!" yelled Bit "Shut the door!"  
  
"Why? I'm gonna deliver these presents to Leena dar- AHHHHH!" Harry's sentence was cut off when he noticed the rapidly approaching mutant vegetables.  
  
Bit jumped to his feet and slammed it shut quickly. Harry leaned on it with Bit until Bit could locate the key. Bit proceeded to lock the door. "Phew!" said Bit "That was close!"  
  
"Why in the world does Doc keep mutant vegetables in his house?!" said Harry, still trying to catch his breath after doing all that screaming. And he was still a bit hysterical, as they could hear the vegetables trying to break the door down.  
  
"I don't know how they got there." said Bit "All I know is that they are...." Bit paused and looked puzzled. "That's odd." said Bit, frowning slightly.  
  
"What?" said Harry.  
  
"I can't here them anymore. Why did they stop trying to break the door down?" pondered Bit. "Wait. We're out here, right?"  
  
"Right." said Harry.  
  
"You were going in to see Leena. If Leena's in there, and the veggies are in there, and we just locked the door..." Bit was cut off by a scream from inside.  
  
"YEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGGGG!!!"  
  
"Uh-oh." gulped Bit.  
  
After the screaming stopped, you could hear several sounds of chaos. One was the veggie men on the rampage. Another one was the sound of Leena screeching words (which don't show up in a G-rated story). The third was Jamie adding to Leena's screeching, screaming. The fourth was Brad's voice, yelling "Can't a guy get a little sleep around-"; then adding more words to Leena's (which, again, don't show up in a G-rated story).  
  
"Something tells me," said Bit "that we just made a really, big mistake."  
  
  
  
  
  
Review, PLEASE! Thank you. 


	3. The Veggies plan their revenge

Swishy Fantasies Now Present:  
  
  
  
Chapter 3: The Veggies plan their revenge  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapters One and Two for disclaimers.  
  
  
  
"Why in the world did you lock that vicious produce in there with poor, innocent Leena?!?" exploded Harry.  
  
"I don't know. It just seemed like a good idea at the time..." said Bit, fidgeting.  
  
"Well, now what are we gonna do??!" ranted Harry, storming back and forth.  
  
"I don't know." said Bit.  
  
"Well hurry up and think of something!" yelled Harry, still pacing.  
  
The two boys went into deep concentration. Then, Bit said:  
  
"Hmm... I wonder if we should..."  
  
"No way, Bit! I've had enough of your plans!" argued Harry. "This time, I'll come up with something!"  
  
Bit sighed. Harry sometimes could make absolutely zero sense, even with all those cents.  
  
  
  
When Jamie heard all those vegetables in the hall, he was scared. Who wouldn't be, with all those monster vegetables around? But when he dashed to the hall way to go to his room (to hide under his bed), he actually got to meet the produce in question. And that didn't make him scared. Oh, no. He was terrified.  
  
"AAAAHHHHHH!!!" screamed Jamie and artfully jumped out the window, like as all should do in case of an attack of veggie men. After he gracefully leapt out the window, he skillfully used Doc's rose bush to cushion his fall. He would have heard Brad and Leena's shouts of profanity following if he hadn't been also creating a din over landing in Doc's rose bush (Not swearing, mind you. Like me, I feel that Jamie never swears.). He was, however, uttering great noises of delight at landing in the rose bush, such as "Ouch!" and "Ooo!" and "Why did Doc have to plant a rose bush under the window?!?" After crawling out of the rose bush and removing all the stickers from all over him (as in thorns, not the sticky kind), he noticed Bit and Harry on the front porch and listened in on their conversation.  
  
"I know!" shouted Harry triumphantly. "We'll break the door down!"  
  
"Sounds fine to me." yawned Bit, half not listening and half not wanting to argue with Harry at the moment.  
  
"Then, we'll charge in and chase all the veggie men back outside and lock the door on them!" concluded Harry.  
  
"Uh, guys?" said Jaime stepping into view.  
  
"Fine." said Bit. "Where did you put the key?"  
  
"Uh, guys..?" repeated Jaime, waving his hand in front of Harry.  
  
"I have it right here." said Harry "And, not now, Jaime. We need to break the door down."  
  
"Yeah, but.."  
  
"Here we go! On the count of three!"  
  
"Yeah, but.."  
  
"One!" shouted Harry. "Two!"  
  
"GUYS?!?" yelled Jamie, jumping up and down franticly.  
  
"...THREE! CHARGE!" cried Harry as they charged into battle.  
  
The door gave way with ease, the first operation a complete success. But when it came to the second operation, driving the veggie men out, Bit and Harry met with failure so bad, that the veggie men began to chase them around the house. This changed the yelling duet of Brad and Leena into a quartet of chaos.  
  
Jamie had no idea what to do. If he ran into the house, the veggie men would get him. But if he stood out there, the veggie men would come outside and get him. So he ran into the hanger, via the outer door of the hanger, and took off in his Pteras. Just in time, too. The veggie men had broken into the hanger and chased him all the way out. Now what? thought Jamie. He hated to leave everyone to monster vegetables, but he didn't stand a chance against them. He flew in a big, slow circle around Toros farm. He needed back-up support. decided Jamie. But who would he go to? Leon! Naomi and Leon! They were the closest he knew who would help. He flew of in the direction of Naomi's residence.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, with our captives...  
  
The veggies had tied them from head to toe in some kind of rope. They were propped up against the wall, while the evil produce began to fill up the tub with some type of liquid. Harry, once he saw Leena, immediately began to make a big fuss over her.  
  
"Oh, Leena! Are you okay? Did the stupid vegetables hurt you?"  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Yes, Leena sweetie?"  
  
"Can it!"  
  
One of the vegetables walked over to Brad and kicked him. "You!"  
  
"Oh great." muttered Brad under his breath "Not just evil, mutant veggies; but talking ones too."  
  
"You be first one for Veggie Moon Ritual, huh?"  
  
"What's that?" said Bit. "Some kind of new soup?"  
  
"We soak you in vegetable juice for long time, all of you. Make veggies for veggies to eat. Then we conquer world, uhhn." Here the veggie walked away.  
  
"Some thing makes me suspect," said Leena "that these guys aren't the brightest fish in the sea."  
  
"It doesn't even make sense." said Bit, shaking his head.  
  
"Zzzz...zzzz.....zzzz." went Doc, snoozing peacefully.  
  
"Grr.....WAKE UP, DAD!" shouted Leena, trying to kick Doc.  
  
"I wonder what they tied us up with." said Bit.  
  
"I think it's tomato vine." said Brad.  
  
"Tomato vine!?!" said Harry. "I'm allergic to tomato vine! It makes my skin break out! AHH!" Here Harry struggled and made other feeble attempts to get out of the vine.  
  
"I hope Jamie's ok." said Bit.  
  
"I hope my dad will wake up before it's to late." said Leena through gritted teeth.  
  
"I hope we get paid for this." said Brad.  
  
"I hope Jamie brings lotion back soon." said Harry, trying to scratch irritated area.  
  
  
  
Now, a bit of review would be nice... with a side order of fries and a shake.....to go. 


	4. The Veggie Moon Ritual

Okies, big, big, BIG apology for not finishing this story sooner. It's a bad habit of mine, I leave tons of unfinished projects lying around the house, but I'm working out a system so I don't do that anymore. But, anyways, all me falt, on with story.  
  
Swishy Fantasies presents: Chapter 4: The Veggie Moon Ritual  
  
Jamie started off, flying at high speed. The speedometer clocked way over the sound barrier. He would get there in no time at all. However, Jamie had forgotten a minor detail. This minor detail called the Wild Eagle. When his alter ego switched on, he had a whole new tactic. Why go for help? He could handle it all himself. It was just a bunch of stupid vegetables. How hard could it be? After all, they couldn't fly. He turned the Raynos around and headed for Tauros Farm.  
  
Noooo!! cried out Jamie mentally. But the point of no return had been crossed. The Wild Eagle dove down at the vegetables and started shooting. BOOM! The veggies exploded. Over-cooked vegetable was everywhere. Hey, thought Jamie They might actually make it out of this alive. He shouldn't have spoken (er, thought) so soon. The vegetable gunk clogged up the Raynos's engine. It quit working. Uh-oh. thought the Wild Eagle and Jamie simultaneously. The Raynos tipped and started into a dive. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! screamed Jamie, an encore of his performance earlier this morning. In a panic, he accidentally hit the eject button and was flung from the cockpit. Fortunately, a tree broke his fall. Unfortunately, it only broke his fall for two seconds. So, he got to go through the whole screaming process again. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" And this time, he also got to hear the sounds of human skin scraping against bark and twigs, which dotted his ensemble with "OW!" and "OOOH!" "EEKK!" He hit the ground, just in time to see his Raynos alight on the ground unharmed. Why did it land so softly? (Plot convenience, that's what.) He also landed just in time for the vegetables to surround him.  
  
Meanwhile, inside, the other veggies were all ready. The vat of juice, now full, had been placed into the moonlight. The meeting over who the first victim would be was over. The insane vegetables placed Brad squarely on the platform, all ready to push him in. The victim in question was not very pleased, to put it mildly, about taking a soak in vegetable juice. He knew vegetable juice was suppose to be healthy for you, but this juice might just prove fatal. For, you see, the veggie's had them all tied up. That meant that Brad had no way to keep himself from drowning. The ritual began. As the head veggie stepped up to the podium beside the platform, the remaining veggies began chanting incomprehensible words. The head lettuce began his speech, mostly about what they would do to the "human beans", in very graphic detail. After Bit had gone a very sickly shade of green and Leena began to think about dumping her lunch, the vegetables began to do their psychotically hypnotic dance which were accompanied by their zombie-like moans. You could also hear very faintly the sound of Harry griping about the tomato vine's reaction with his skin. Brad looked out over the sea of greenish juice. It had begun to glow an eerie glow. Brad tensioned and froze. At first, he though that this "veggie moon ritual" had been a joke solely a product of the vegetables lack of brains. But now, having been shown further evidence, he was beginning to worry over whether they would actually carry through with their mad scheme. Plus, well the other day he would have said their was no such thing as a "veggie moon ritual". But then again, he would have never said that there could be monster vegetables. This whole ordeal could easily turn messy.  
  
The Lyger 00 happily stood in the hanger, waiting for Bit to return. It couldn't wait to show the cheerful blond what it had discovered that morning. All of a sudden, the vegetable brigade broke into the hanger. The vile vegetables began to swarm all over the zoids, including the Lyger 00. At first, the Lyger was shocked. What were the strange things? But then there was the smell. And then, the memory...  
  
"Here you go Lyger, that's the last of my vegetables." chirped Bit cheerfully. *Growl.* the Lyger had responded. Then, it had eaten up all of those vegetables. It made Bit happy when Lyger disposed of his vegetables.  
  
So, the Lyger 00 concluded, if it ate all those giant vegetable, it would make Bit four times as happy. And when Bit was happy, he... well, was happy. Besides, it liked vegetables. So, it started eating. And it ate. And ate. Until there were no more veggies in the hanger. So, it locked on to the source of the smell and just peeled the wall away and kept eating. And eating. Swarms of vegetable warriors attempted to attack the Lyger, but it just kept eating. And so, through its constant efforts of eating, it kept the evil vegetables at bay.  
  
Not so fortunately for our pilots out in the living room. The vegetables had positioned Brad over a pit. Brad's mind raced for a plan. Then, all of the sudden, the thought occurred to him. Why didn't he just kick the vegetables? But before he could execute this revolutionary maneuver, the vegetables shoved him in. SPLASH! Brad began to writhe in pain. He could feel his lungs sealing like tombs, he felt as little leaves began to sprout all over him, and--  
  
He was awake in bed! At first, Brad was shaking all over. That had to be one of the most.... But then again, as he looked back on the dream, it was actually a rather stupid one. Why in the world had he been worked up over a bunch of vegetables. He laid back down and closed his eyes and muttered "That had to be one of the weirdest dreams I ever had..."  
  
"Just be glad it wasn't talking alarm clocks, dear." murmured his alarm clock.  
  
(finally) THE END 


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